Entry for September 25, 2007
Today is really hard. Yesterday I took a shower.. Yipee!! Sounds like a mundane thing to do, but let me tell you, by the time I was done, I felt like I had just run a couple of miles.. and I haven't run in many years ;)
Today, once again, I am just sitting here. Actually I am laying here. It is getting harder and harder to just sit here. I hate to have to call someone just so I can do something. I CAN walk up and down the stairs, but coming down makes me nervous, I stay downstairs all day until someone gets here to 'assist' me down. I just called my mom, who was busy, because I wanted to go to the grocery store. She put up the HUGE stop sign. No go!! Something that I use to take for granted.. going to the store, and I can't do it.
I had a thought today that I would be able to go to the store AND cook dinner for the family tonight. I am three weeks post-op. You would think I would be able to do something like that. NO chance. My mom reminded me that I still can't drive, can't go to the store alone, I can't do a lot of things... but I want to!! I know it is for the better, and so that I can heal properly and all, but geesh!! So, tonight, Mike will have to do it all once again. I know it is wearing on him so much, and I feel so bad. I sit here and I see something on the floor; a couple of weeks ago, I wouldn't have thought about it too much, but now, I want to pick it up so he doesn'thave to, and I can't.
For those of you rockers from the '80's remember Cinderella "Don't Know Whatcha Got Til it's Gone"... that sums up how I am feeling right now. I know others get depressed like this too, and they get through it, so will I.
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